High School Horror
by Cynicism and Happiness
Summary: Harry and co are forced into the Muggle world through a school project and have to attend a prep school. Nightmare? Read to find out. From the author formerly known as Naz in Black. Peace and love. Rock on. Please review
1. Back to School

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter

**Back to School**

Dumbledore stood up in front of the whole school, calling for attention by tapping his spoon against his golden goblet.

"May I have your attention please?"

The students stopped talking.

"I am going to send groups of students into the Muggle world. It is time that we learn to form bonds with other humans, besides sheltering ourselves in our own world. The first group to go out into the Muggle world will include fifth and sixth years."

"The groups are as follows," continued Professor McGonagall, "Crabbe, Parkinson, Patil Padma, Goldstein, Longbottom, Lovegood."

Neville groaned and buried his head in his hands. Luna looked unperturbed, as usual.

Professor McGonagall called out more names: "The next group, Boot, Bones, Abbot, Corner, Robbins, Finch-Fletchley."

Hannah Abbot smiled; she'd always had a soft spot for Justin Finch-Fletchley. Justin grinned at her. A budding relationship was evident.

"Finally, the last group to enter the Muggle world for the next ten weeks is Weasley, Weasley, Weasley, and…Weasley…All the Weasleys…Potter (Ginny blushed to herself), Granger (Ron grinned to himself; Hermione blushed), Malfoy, and Zabini."

Malfoy threw his spoon down; Harry pounded the table. But nothing was quite so amazing as Blaise Zabini's fall to the floor, screaming, "NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"


	2. Harry

**Disclaimer: **I do not, have not, and will never own Harry Potter

And We're Back… Harry's POV… 

Oh for sweet Merlin's sake, that was probably one of the WORST experiences that I have ever had at a school, and that includes the obnoxious elementary school that my aunt and uncle sent me to (with Dudley, never forget!).

Basically, we walk in and _every single kid_ is in something called Vineyard Vines and Abercrombie and Fitch. They looked at my Gladrags Wizardwear like it was so far out (I don't even have to hesitate to say that their little pastels, short skirts, and clashing pink, green, and white looked ridiculous).

And they guys wear these weird ties – also called Vineyard Vines – that have these weird patterns on them, like little airplanes, little crocodiles, and little birds…what's up with that?

The second day we were there, they were celebrating some random French teacher; they'd ordered these REALLY odd bow ties with FRENCH FLAGS imprinted on them. Spend a fortune for tacky ties, why don't you? They must have cost millions of pounds.

Then all the girls looked at me like I was really odd…they kept staring at my head. I almost miss the awed, reverent way the Wizarding world stares at my head; these girls kept being sympathetic, like I was in a freak accident.

One dumb brunette came up to me and asked if I'd been at a construction site at a very bad time. What goes on through these kids' heads, I do not know.

That's all I have to say; I am even more disgusted with the Muggle world than I thought humanly possible.

**A/N: **I know it's not the best; just wait until I do Draco's POV


	3. Hermione

Disclaimer: You know how it goes, no HP for me…

Hermione's POV 

You know, it upsets me how the meaning of "dumb blonde" really came to life at this school. Not to be derogatory or anything, I don't mean it. But when a sixteen year old can't even find the front cover of her test booklet, I'm getting the impression that there is _seriously_ something wrong (A/N: During a standardized test, I kid you not, one girl actually asked that question. No BS).

They looked at my hair like I was some sort of Loch Ness Monster. Why? No one at Hogwarts ever looks at me like that. Well, maybe Pansy Parkinson, and Draco Malfoy…but they're Slytherins! They don't count.

Anyway, as all of us are supposed to be talking about out "new experiences" in the Muggle world (believe me, I know I'm Muggle born, but this was so new), so I am.

The most _new_ experience that I'd had is probably the dance.

In the tube, it's called congestion, but in this dance, it was intimacy. SCARY.

I'm there, trying not to get my hair tangled in anything…and guess what? Some random guy comes up behind me and feels my…well, we won't get into that. I'd prefer not to, if you know what I mean. Needless to say, Cormac McLaggen was much nicer than that one, and that's saying something.


	4. Malfoy

Disclaimer: Do not own HP

**Malfoy's POV**

God in bloody Heaven, that was THE WORST THING that that maniac Dumbledore ever foisted on us.

WHAT WAS HE THINKING!

Well, first off, at this damn school of glass and Muggle designers (ugh, Muggles, my mother will faint to see me; I'll reek of Muggles for at least a year), a fellow can't even sing songs that he secretly likes from the Muggle world.

Okay, I admit it_. I like some Muggle songs._

_**I LOVE MADONNA!**_

Fine. Glad to get that out of my system.

So, I'm walking down that hallway, singing "Like a Virgin", (such a great song, Bridget Jones was so right to correct those Thai women about their…oh crap. OKAY. _I'm a Renee Zelleweger fan as well. OK!_) and these blokes in ties with little yellow airplanes on them start laughing at me.

Now who are they to judge? I mean really. Some of them wear bright pink pants at their knees.

Then I got harassed by a group of girls. If there's one thing that I can't stand, it's a Muggle girl.

Then again, if there's one thing I can't stand even more than a Muggle girl, it's…

_TWENTY MUGGLE GIRLS!_

I may like Madonna, but I…

I was walking down the hallway again (that hallway has bad vibes) and girls started coming out of their classes. They just saw me…and came after me! Ah!

I squealed like a baby Mandrake. All these…_girls_…MUGGLE GIRLS…in short skirts and bows in their hair…they started running after me! Screaming! One tried to hug me! Have mercy!

Well, I ran to this grey closet that had some weird sign on it…"Janitor" I think…and thank Merlin I found a broomstick.

I raced out of the closet and tried to escape on the broomstick, but it just wouldn't fly!

It must have been a Shooting Star. Just my luck to find a broomstick that doesn't want to work.

And then…well the rest was too embarrassing.

Let's just say it was an unfortunate incident involving losing my pants.

Damn you, Muggles. Damn you.

**A/N:** Ah, Draco…awesome character…though I like Dumbledore, so Draco attempting to kill him in HBP, not cool.


	5. Ginny

Disclaimer: How many times…I don't own Harry Potter

**Ginny's POV**

_A/N:_ Sorry to be switching the POVs, but that's kind of the point of the story. Still, I _will_ try to make longer chapters if you want.

What a time! God, some of those people are really stupid. But some are actually really smart. They have this class called "Mathematics" which seems to be the equivalent of "Arithmancy" but I could be wrong. I don't even take Arithmancy; Hermione does, so I guess she can tell me.

Anyway, they have a "Math Team" and call themselves "Matheletes". Dad would love to be one of the Matheletes, just for the name.

Their Potions class is weird, though. They use flint to light something they call "Bunsen Burners", not a normal fire. They also have this weird thing called the Metric System; they don't even use proper scales. And their protective gloves are these flimsy little transparent things made out of thin pieces of rubber. I pick dragon skin over that stuff.

Actually, I think my best experience in the Muggle world was torturing Malfoy.

Of course he doesn't actually know it, but I found this picture in some strange magazine (it's even more flashy than _The Quibbler_) called "People". What an unimaginative title. Muggles are so boring.

There was this blond guy in the photo and he looked _a lot _like Malfoy, except without the sleazy, slime ball, malevolent, my-father-is-one-of-the-fourteen-most-dangerous-criminals-in-the-world thing going on there.

All the girls in this school are _obsessed with him_. So…to get back at Malfoy's father (indirectly) for attempting to possess me with the most evil wizard known to wizard-kind, I decided to make some trouble.

I carefully read the name underneath.

While Malfoy was strutting down the hall (not surprising; he does that at school too), I went to the nearest blonde and muttered, "Look, Tom Felton," pointing at Malfoy.

She shrieked at a volume of about 500 decibels and about thirty Muggle girls were sprinting after Malfoy, asking…screaming…for his autograph.

The look on his face was freaking hilarious, I kid you not. And I almost feel bad for him.

No one ever told him that Muggle broomsticks _do not fly_.

That's the benefit of having a Muggle-crazed father:

You actually know what various aspects of the Muggle world are.

Malfoy always distances himself from the Muggle world. Here's my advantage.

The girls thought he was so cute.

And I sat back and laughed.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA! Take that!

The bad part about the Muggle world is the fact that there is no Quidditch. I really miss it.

The girls play field hockey or squash, and I don't get it. They're not even trying to squash anything.

There's no risk involved, except maybe breaking a jaw. Mind you, they don't have Madam Pomfrey's superior healing skills there, so I guess that's risk enough for them.

But you can't fall out of the air, or hit people, or fly after a fast, golden ball…I'm so glad to be back.


	6. Ron

Disclaimer: I do not own this series. Otherwise, I'd be making billions (I wish)

A/N: Last chapter, I decided. Ron's mind isn't worth going into deeply.

**0o0o0o0000o00o**

**Ron's POV**

That was bloody fantastic!

Hot blonde girls! EVERYWHERE!

It was like a dream come true!

I'm still in shock!

And they think I'm adorable. Except I really don't know why a whole troupe of them was chasing Malfoy.

What's he got that I don't? Money? Yeah…that'd be it. Hell, you'd think they wouldn't be so shallow. Oh well. Guess I thought wrong.

And they like my tallness. Life is good. I think I'll become a Muggle.

0o0o000o000

THE END!!!


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